A Witness Statement

What is the need these days for door-to-door salesmen?

For God’s sake, we have the internet, we have cars, buses, taxis, shopping channels… if we want something, there’s absolutely nothing standing in the way of us taking matters into our own hands and getting it ourselves. Why, in this day and age, do we still need people knocking on our doors and pushing unneeded crap down our throats?

Never once have I lounged in my living room and thought, “You know what? I really fancy changing my religion. I wish someone would knock on the door and shed some light on the situation.”

YOU know what I’m talking about.

Today, an elderly man asked me if I prayed regularly. I said no, because I think that kind of thing is private. He didn’t relent, and then asked “Do you pray before you drive?” I replied with “No, but my driving instructor does.” I got a slight scolding for being sarcastic, and was then instructed to consult a website about taking the Bible literally.

Look, don’t come to my house preaching about how the world is in ruins, and then leave a piece of paper in my possession I’m clearly not interested in. If we’re in such an apocalyptic situation (which, to be fair is half true…) then why don’t you just recycle it?

If there’s ever an argument against religion, I’m the first person to defend it. It’s a beautiful thing, a belief – it should be treasured and given enough room to grow the way you want it to. Such a regimented structure to something as fragile as a belief feels wrong to me.

It was on the tip of my tongue to ask about his views on homosexuality, but I didn’t. I felt given the comments I’d already made it would seem rude. He left after a few minutes, assuring me that if I committed myself to this new way of thinking then maybe I’d get a job.

Kind of scary hearing that from a man I’ve never met... how does HE know I’m unemployed??

I’m keeping my door firmly locked from now on.