Sunday, 30 October 2011


There are a lot of things I despise about being a slobby dole bird.

Of course, there’s the lack of a decent wage, the weekday loneliness, the looks I receive when I complain about the little things – like my dog barking too much at the postman, and how my sister has accidentally deleted the new episode of “An Idiot Abroad”. (I mean, I was planning to watch it while eating my morning bacon sandwich. How inconsiderate of her!)

But the worst thing – and I can’t express how much of “the worst thing” this is – about being unemployed is the fact that I’ve now got nothing decent to talk about.

It’s getting to the point where I think I’m a complete conversational failure. Witty anecdotes? Mine are about how I nearly dropped the remote while watching Jeremy Kyle. Riveting gossip? I have mountains as long as my own story plots count (and no, they bloody don’t). Unless I’m chatting about something specific, or listening to a friend’s story, I’ve literally got nothing decent to say about what I’ve been doing in my life for the last couple of months. And it’s absolutely killing me.

So, this morning I came up with a new solution. Last week my solution was exercise. I used to do a decent amount earlier this year (the phrase “abs of steel” springs to mind…) but my routine came to a complete standstill in the lead up to exams and the summer. I suppose back then I had more interesting things on my mind than how many more sit-ups I could manage. But anyway, I’ve been attempting to get back into it over the past couple of weeks and now feel as though I’m comfortable with my old routine again. If not, then I'll try an even better one.

The feeling of having a planned number of squats or press-ups to do and then accomplishing what I’d written down was exhilarating. And, more importantly, this weekend I felt like I had something remotely interesting to talk about. Being completely honest, it was mostly me complaining about how much my thighs hurt, but it was something, at least.

Because of this fantastic feeling of accomplishment I’ve been inspired to write down a list of goals for this coming week. The bottom line is I’m sick of feeling sorry for myself. I mentioned in the car journey home a couple of hours ago that I’d give anything to be complaining about a crappy job instead of complaining about having no job at all. (At least then it would feel justified to the people who work their socks off every day while I sit at home like an idiot.) I want to feel like I'm doing something instead of nothing.

In the same way I wrote the number of times I performed each exercise in a set last week I’ve written it by hand (and in the same pen to boot), to make it feel a bit more real than if it was on a computer where I usually write my lists. To inspire me even further, I’m going to update my blog at the end of the week to see how many items on the list I’ve managed to tick off. If they’re not done – they’re on next week’s list until they are.

To confirm it, here’s my list. There are 14 items as of tonight but I know that’ll fluctuate as the week progresses while I add things and check others off. One is checked off already – I completed that bitch this morning finally. It feels great to have a nice organised computer.

Next stop: a more organised life. 


1)    Organise folders
2)    Apply for AT LEAST 2 jobs per day
3)    Put credit on phone (£10)
4)    Things to buy: Chili’s T-Shirt, foundation, boyfriend’s birthday presents?
5)    Wake up no later than 9am every day
6)    Stop going to bed so late!
7)    Write at least 2 new blog posts
8)    Go for 1 jog
9)    Do exercises (allowing 1 day of rest - starting Monday)
10) Complete housework jobs every day
12) Finish final version of chapter 1 in Strings
13) Try 1 new recipe for lunch
14) Drink more water in place of soft drinks

Wish me luck!


  1. It's exactly how I feel. The highlight of my day is when I spill milk all over myself while still being half asleep. : D
    I'll start checking up your blog from now on...
    Interesting read!


  2. Glad to hear someone else is in the same boat! That's a bit more interesting than my latest story: the meat didn't defrost for my lunch. Dun dun dun!