Wednesday, 11 January 2012

Indie Kids

This post is long overdue. I fucking hate indie kids.

(Before I lose all my credibility as a remotely interesting person, no, this isn't the Marry the Night inspired post about a part of my past I've yet to reveal to anybody.) Last night, I went to a spur-of-the-moment gig featuring a funk band we kind of follow around like stalkers... and I was disturbed to find that the entire venue was filled with indie kids.

I was literally the only girl in the room wearing heels, it was that bad. Even forgetting the completely stupid and ugly ensembles they attempt to pull off (a ratty woolly hat with a suit... what?), and I'm biting my tongue not to go into a rant about how they perceive themselves to be edgy, however all wear exactly the same thing... they're really shitty crowd members.

Considering they'd all paid to get in, you'd think they'd make a bit more of an effort to move around and look as though they're enjoying themselves, wouldn't you? Poor Danny was outdoing himself on that sax, while they just sat there as morose as they would look while watching an omnibus of Antiques Roadshow. I, being the token drunk girl, danced, of course. I didn't get all dressed up for no reason. The indie kids however, either lounged all over each other in the seats looking like their dog had just died, or stood awkwardly in rows with their arms folded, as though they were half-listening at a school assembly. It's not on... how would the band feel? I was embarrassed for them.

I've noticed that indie kids are very different here compared to across the Atlantic, and the ones who have bridged that gap are supremely more annoying. Up late one night last week, I was watching Abbey Road after midnight, and one of the artists (I use the term loosely...) was the most irritating, conceited, snobby dickhead I've ever witnessed on television. Not only was he embarrassed about putting his own music out, but he slated his last album and professed that returning to the roots of an acoustic guitar and similar, boring, folk melodies was infinitely more soul-satisfying than making interesting music which more people previously enjoyed. I think they call them "hipsters" over there.

I think that's the main thing I despise about the indie social movement, that especially in music, they make it for themselves, and not for anybody else. If I write, I'm rarely selfish enough to write something purely for my own mind, and instead seek to entertain as many people as I possibly can with it. Take this blog, for example. Okay, I realise it's about as important in the grande scheme of life as your average baked bean, and it probably gets less views, but at least I'm trying be selfless, by showcasing something I've spent time on, instead of tearing it to shreds and being snobby enough not to let anybody else take pleasure from it. (If of course, it just so happened that anybody did. I hope so.)

Finally, I'm going to address probably the saddest aspect of the indie kid lifestyle... Social networking vs "real life". It's quite easy for me to understand why often people are more confident hidden behind the written word instead of the spoken one (I'm a writer), but what I can't comprehend, is why indie kids feel the need to live these strange double lives online and offline, where their online personalities completely out-do the way they act in person.

Take this indie/hipster I know, right? I've got him on Facebook, and he has loads of friends, hundreds of photos of himself in top indie fashion, and often brags about his skills on guitar. In reality? All his pictures are taken on his laptop webcam, I find it hard to believe he knows even half of the people in real life due to possessing less of a personality than a wet towel, and is disgraceful on the guitar. No, I'll even rephrase that with a quote from an actual musician, he's "God damn disrespectful on that instrument!"

I'm a firm believer of talking yourself up, but at least make an effort to make it less of a lie the longer you live it. I've known my example for two years now, and he's not changed a bit.

The thing my three main points have got in common is that indie kids/hipsters care too much about what other people think, whilst professing entirely the opposite. It's an absolute cult of hypocrites in polo shirts. If you truly didn't give a damn about what others thought of you, you'd be following your own path, not one made of muddy grass and trodden with the footprints of a thousand Toms.

And while we're on the subject... Get some proper shoes! You can donate the money to charity yourselves in a decent pair of footwear, you arrogant tools!


  1. I hate when they think they are "edgy" too. >:(

  2. I got told by a indie music snob that most of my music sucks and is way too mainstream. I go to many concerts where there are lots of "hipsters/indie kids" so I notice some of these things. My older sister goes to at least a concert a week and when I told her about the person who told me my music sucked. All she said was "oh you met one of thhoooosseee"
    Oh and I hate toms. They smell gross.

  3. Thanks for the support, Toms are disgusting and should be burned!

  4. Cracking read, especially the point about ratty hats and suits. gets on my tits something terrible. But stop hating on Toms.